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Sylvia took the kids out, for a walk; then she made the arm-bands with
Alisa, and paper flowers for Olivia. Alisa had the idea to give the
arm-bands to the children on the ceremony for Olivia.
Andrei and Alma (with Zana and Noa) came to visit. It ws very good to talk
to them, first because they are from Bosnia so we could talk in
Bosnian/Serbian; and then also because they have lost their twins at
birth, several years ago. I admire them for being brave enough to go on,
to try again, and to make two beautiful girls since then!!
What I've heard from Andrei then was that this happens more often then
people think, but it is (of course) not widely propagated, because doctors
do not want to scare expecting parents with the stories of dangers, nor of
death. Yes, it reminded me of my surprise that they have books and
leaflets printed about it - so it must indeed happen more often. And this
article says it, too:
Andrei and Alma also gave s a book "When a baby dies". When will I be
strong enough to read this??
Jenno (Mr Fabriek) is coming every day to see how is Olivia doing, and if
the cooling machine is working properly. We asked him if it can be turned
down a bit, because it is buzzing the whole day and whole night long, and
cooling down to -25, and I found that to be too cold. So he changed it to
-5, but it was still as noisy as before. And I thought that Olivia is not
frozen enough, so we took away the towel that was between her and the
cooling element. Still, Jenno said she is doing fine...
Berry came to visit, and he brought Buda statue for Olivia to bring with
her on her journey. His attitude and his opinion were the most comforting
and most similar to mine.
I have emailed all the friends & colleagues. [link to the first email]
[pismo na srpskom]
We were choosing music... there is a [separate story] about that.
The nights were the worst... I had so much milk, and the cabbage
compresses were not enough any more - I had to put cold water on my
breasts, or ice. And then I realised that it can help to hold Olivia close
to my breasts -- in the complete reverse order then what I was expecting
to do: instead of nourishing her with my milk, and her helping me to put
down the pressure, I was using her frozen body to turn down my milk
production! Oh, how much I wanted to warm her up to life! I was hoping
that she will wake up from my tears dripping on her face... but she did